Monday, November 28, 2022

I lost my best friend


The loss of a loved one is traumatizing, and emotional. I lost a special person in my life.  
It was the summer of 1993.  My sister and I lived with our dad and stepmom in the city, we spent the summer with our mom who lived in a trailer court out of the city limits.  My sister and I went to south east/City high, and the court was in northwest/West high school.  We met Angie, and friends.   We were going out with the same guy, his grandparents lived across the street from my mom,  he wasn't allowed to talk or look at females.  
So Angie was on her way to my house to fight over him.  Instead we got smart,  We went up to his grandparents door, and knocked,  his grandpa opened the door, and called for him to come, he saw us together, jaw dropped and shut the door.   We laughed so hard, then that was the start of a beautiful friendship. 
We were always up at the pool, spraying sun in in our hair, going to the mall, or to the fair. Sneaking out to Angies house at night, because her dad worked over night.  
BOO-Ya, and Taa-Dow were OUR words, along with starting a sentence with, "Dude" or, "bitch" we had such a great bond. We had so many slang words between us two, it was crazy.
TuPac and Snoop was our men, we could sing you the Dogg pound, and Tupac verbatim. Baby got back, and Tag Team, Whoop there it is, were our songs as well.

No matter what really happened between us we always seem to find each other again and be back at it again. We helped each other through a lot since 1993. I have TONS of memories. And I hang on tightly to those. I'm a sentimental person. I hold on to sentimental things. I have a HUGE memory box. And a lot of its from Angie and I.
I knew the day would come when one of us would be gone, But I really didnt think it would be in our forties.     

 We were always with our group of girlfriends, and we’d walk around the court like we owned the damn
place. We as a group would walk up the hill, and one time we all got caught up there by that old man, and he came running after us with a gun yelling at us to get off of his property. Somehow my sister got matrix legs and literally hurled herself over that barbed wire fence, while we were stuck laughing so hard we couldn't get over the fence.  
And we always went to church with my mom.
I was there for all of her babies when they were first born. And I love them all
like my own. She called one night at midnight. Me in Iowa, her in Alabama. We were 14, Her
first words were, “I'm pregnant!” then she started to cry because she was so scared. Scared about her heart, and this new life inside her. We talked till about 4 am. Hung up, and my phone rings 15 minutes later. Its her little brother. First words out of his mouth were, “Angela's pregnant!”   I said,   “really?!”  And he says back to me, “You already know!!”    I remember when she came back to Iowa with
Taylor. She wasn't even a week old and we looked at each other like, “wow this is a real baby ,one of us actually has one…” Because of her heart, she was told to abort. But she didn't want to. She wanted that baby, come hell or high water.
And everything she had to do during each pregnancy just to get that baby here, made her such a brave soul. And then here is a beautiful baby that you brought into this world that looks just like you. We spent that summer up at the pool, and had another fun summer.  We found out that her little pink baby, turned a golden brown in the summer.  
Her dad sent us into Eagles grocery store, it was dark. We were 14. We went in, got our things, and came back outside, saw a car in the parking lot with the headlights on, My comment was, 
 “ooops, looks like the strength of that battery is being tested!” We chuckled. Then realized that, that was her dad's car! Crap, we bee-lined for that car, laughing so hard, praying that it would still start.
One of my favorite memories I will hold of her, and I gave her crap for it was when my mom, me, my sister, and her ex-husband, were standing in our front yard and we were getting ready to leave. she proceeded to open up the passenger side door, push the seat forward, and got into the backseat, and realized what she had just done. 
She looked over at us when we're looking at her in disbelief because we just all saw her get in the backseat through the front passenger's door in a 4 door car. 
We were laughing so hard, we cried because the look on her face when she found out that she just did what she did was hilarious, and priceless. (In her defense, her dad only owned 2 door cars back then.) .We were actually on our way to get our drivers licenses, she used my moms car for the test.
Or the time when we all thought there was an animal in her bedroom hissing because every time we’d open the door we’d hear a, “hissssssss” we were seriously scared. Little Jeff went back there with his kitchen pot and pan armor on, and burst into the room. Then we heard him laugh. And his laughter got harder, we found out there was an aerosol hairspray bottle behind the door, and was spraying when the door pushed it open. 
Or when our hearts would race when we saw the flashing lights behind us, coming home from the bar, and had been drinking.  Only to find out it's her dad, and all he wants to know is if she had her house key. Our hearts pounding from fear thinking we were going to be in trouble. And when we got to her house, we laughed so hard!  
She stayed the night with me when I lived in Sutliff, and crashed on my couch, She had a dream that Freddy Kruger was cutting her. When we woke up and she was telling me about it, and on her forearms were scratches. My cat played with her during the night and that's where the dream came in. 
We always had such a blast when we went out,  we'd start at Grizzlys bar, play some pool, have some drinks and then head over to our other bar to dance at, The Press Box. 
There was this guy that danced crazy around at the Press Box, and we would laugh so hard at this guy because we thought wow he's got to have a lot of confidence to dance like that LOL
 we nicknamed him "The Wedding Singer." And that's what we called him. And then we all met The Wedding Singer and found out that he was a pretty cool dude. We'd run into him from time to time.
I remember when she found out she was pregnant with Malea, and I would come over and we would sit up all night playing cards , talking, laughing, watching horror movies, playing my super nintendo, or just a good ole episode of Forensic Files. And then Malea came, and there was another beautiful baby girl you brought in, that looked just like you. She was so proud of both of her girls.
Angie and I worked together a few times. And it was always a blast! We would prank each other quite a bit. I'd leave fake spiders in the money drawer, or on the desk. Then she got me back one day pretty good. I'll just say, A fake call returned to Mira Maines, at a funeral home,  was not who i was really calling.
Angie was the blunt one. If she didn’t like something done, she would definitely tell you. We called her, "Bitchen’ Betts."  We had our share of arguments, but what friendship doesn’t have that? We would always find our ways back to each other, mend or friendship, and there's Angie and Jill again. Watch out world!!
 Friends look out for each other. We did. Friends don't put each other in danger. There are things that Angie knows about me, that no one else does. 
After I lost my first daughter, she was there. I shared with her my daughters pictures and outfit she was in.  Things I had never shared with anyone.  She cried. And hated that I had to go through that. She thanked me for sharing such a private, sentimental thing with her.
I remember after she had Jeremiah, she said she felt complete with her 2 girls and her baby boy. She said she was scared at first because she didn't know how to raise a boy. But, she loved it. Jeremiah and My daughter are 2 weeks apart. And we finally had a baby the same age. Shortly after he was born, in 2007,  she had her first heart surgery. She (and we) knew she would have to have heart surgery, but they tried to hold off as long as they could, because it would have to be done again, probably in a decade. But, she recovered well. And was back at work.
She came over to sit with my mom, when my mom was alive, but terminally ill. I had to go to an appointment,  She cleaned up our kitchen, lol, she would pick a part of the house and go crazy cleaning it.  She loved my mom,  mom loved her back.  Her dad and stepmom, treated me like their own, and they still do.  
She had a lot of friends, she was the one that a lot of people went to for advice or to just talk. Because everybody knew she was going to be blunt and honest with you and let you know what she thinks of the situation. She was well known for always having to have her makeup done, and having her hair done curled, and doing her nails. She always found the best smelling lotion and, perfumes.  She loved her music. Always had a beautiful voice singing.  I loved hearing her sing.  

I have to be honest here, and I hate sharing this, but she was a drug addict.  She got hooked on Heroin.
And I hated that.  There were "friends" she had that supported her Heroin habit. That is not a friend. If she had been at my house still, and looked green, I would have taken her to the ER or called an ambulance.  I hated it when she'd leave to stay with her other "Friends" and come back, and would be coming down.  I hate Heroin.  Seeing her go through using it, tore me up.  I kept thinking of her heart, and her kids.  
Even though we had a falling out a couple of years ago when she was staying with me and my man, I still loved her regardless. We had a phone call about a week after she had left our house, and we made up, we said our I love yous, and said our sorrys, for what happened. 
I do wish I would have messaged her again sooner, just to hang out with her, or to chat one more time. She always had a way to cheer someone up. She loved writing her affirmations, she had a bunch written and a notebook she gave to my daughter. They stayed up one night writing them in another notebook together. She loved her grand-babies, they were her light, she loved Face-timing with her daughter and grand-babies. She said "Jill, being a mother is an amazing feeling, but being a grandmother is just a whole new feeling of love!"

Here we are at the fair, in 1993.  We got a lot of sun that summer, and we loved it. 


I am on the left, Angie in the middle, and my other best friend, Michelle on the right. Michelle was killed in a car accident in, 2006.  We clicked as well.  Ill write about her another time! 


This is a funny picture, Angie was actually floored and happy that i had kept all these pictures, and all of the notes she had written me in high school. 
We were in the shower, this was at my house.  We had just came inside from the pool, getting ready to go to the mall, we wanted to rinse off.  We also had or bathing suits on!


This is Heather sitting on the very left, Angie in the Red shirt, and me on right. We were outside taking pictures. 


This was a very fun night.  From left to Right, Tina, Sara, me, Angie, and Michelle.  She pointed that play gun at her and it took at the perfect time.  at that time, i had a disposable camera that I had to take to the store to develop, so I didn't see this picture till a few days later. This was when I lived in Sutliff, and Michelle was living with me.  Michelle and I came to Grizzlys, they all met for the first time, and we all had such a fun night!


When Angie was staying with my man and I a few years ago. 


Us two playing around on snapchat. 


This is one of my favorite pictures of us.  Grizzlys, 1999.


Angie, her daughter Malea and I

And Again. 


This was at her celebration of life.
  I got my last picture with Betts. 
She left her Alabama Roll Tide key clip, so ill sport that for her now. 


Always had such a beautiful smile. 




So until we meet again my dear friend, I will always love and carry your memory securely in my heart. 
I cherish every memory we have.  Ill keep your children close to my heart as well. 
we hadn't spoken since that last phone call we had.  And I still considered her, my best friend. 
Angie had another heart surgery done a few years ago.  Then they put in a pacemaker. 
    Her heart was tired, weak, and she put a lot of stress on it with the drugs. 
She went in to ER, on November 3rd, Her organs were already shutting down. Her oldest daughter said she was in the cardiac ICU.  She was asking for prayers.  When I saw that, I had a bad feeling, but prayed hard for her.  On November 4th after I woke up, I went to her daughters page first to check, She had announced that she passed away early that morning.  I actually lost it. My man grabbed me and held me. He knew she was still special to me. 
If you have something to say to someone, DO IT!!  I wish I had called her or messaged her sooner. I think maybe I could have helped.   Her not being here anymore is honestly tearing me up. 

Rest peacefully, Angela Michelle Betts-Linaras. 
Your smile will forever be shining. 

June 24th 1978~~November 4th, 2022



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