I love you, but I dont want anything to do with you.I wish the best for all of you.I'm going to just start ignoring you, like you all do me.I'm tired of the same lies being brought up.I'm tired of being treated like shit all the time.I'm tired of being snickered at. I'm tired of being left out of stuff.When you went around telling lies about that I treated my mom like shit when she was alive, that damaged me. Were you there? nope. Because you wouldn't help me. I asked. And you wouldn't help. And give me shit because I wanted to go out one night, Or wanted to go stay a night with my man. You all took that as if I was running around all the time. I too needed time away from my home. When I was there, with my mom, it was a reminder that my mom was dying, and there was nothing I could do. It's healthy to go and spend time with friends. It was a coping mechanism. Everyone grieves different. My half-brother, took it upon himself to message me one day telling me how I didn't care for our dad. This coming from the man who took his wife back, my dad couldn't stand his wife. My dad told him, not to take her back. So about a month before our dad passed, he got back with his wife, and completely treated our dad like shit, and ignored him, up until the day he passed away. So, in other words, he choose his "wife" over our dad. He feels the only reason I come around the family is if it's beneficial for me.How? For what? Us girls probably won't see anything from our dad, I'm sure. I couldn't care less! I got a few tangible items, And you know what? Those items are priceless. Those items will last forever. My dad is in my heart. I feel the only reason his wife is "back" is because of the money. Enjoy it while you can. 🙄 Money will run out. Love won't. I go to see my family, but you ruined it, with the lies you manifested, so therefore I stay away. You'd do the same. I love my dad, and stepmother. She will always be my bonus mom, who raised us and gave us girls a lot! And it's appreciated. After my mom passed, I asked my sister multiple times if we were ok. She kept saying yes. Then about three years later, all these lies surface that she had been spreading since before my mom passed. It actually made me sick to hear this shit.She lied to me. It hurt. We were so close. I racked my brain trying to figure out why. Only thing I could come up with was that she was jealous of my wonderful relationship with my mom.
My 16 year old niece took it upon herself to message me about a grown up issue that she didn't even have NO part in. Telling me I wasn't part of the family, and again shit about my mom. Who is she to decide who is in the family or not? Not her! And my Dear niece, do you now feel like a "badass" because you thought you, "told me"? 😉 🤣Told me family don't talk shit about each other. That's all they do about me. Ever since my mom passed in 2016, thats all ive heard about me. Family talking shit about me. She told me i was digging the hole deeper. Hmmm....i should've just said to her, "POT, KETTLE, BLACK" instead i stooped to her unmature level and came back at her. I used something against her, that I probably shouldn't have said. But I was fuming. I called my sister something I probably shouldn't have said. But my word! I feel like saying, "it hurts when family say untrue shit about you, huh?" And, when she's talking shit about me, no one flinches, but I say something and holy shit! It's like the sky just dropped. What. The. Actual. FUCK? I know an eye for an eye is a sin. And forgive me dear Lord.I said that grandma would be so disappointed in them. And she would for treating her baby girl like shit and no part in our family. Who the hell is she defending a 50 yr old man, that if so, can call or text me if he feels.Accusations towards my daughter "talking shit" she was telling the truth. What she said at the shower, about an individual, was all true. I actually know the whole story, I said I didn't just out of respect for 2 of my nieces.I'm drained, mentally exhausted. Narcissistic people, blame you for thier actions.So I'm done. I have 7 nieces, and 3 of them have made it so I'm not getting them anything for christmas. I'm done. My wallet thanks you! And that's my money. I did earn it. 😏 Yes, I'm on disability, for my Rheumatoid Arthritis, and my back. I have 6 screws in my back, and my hardware malfunctioned. So I'm in pain, 24/7. I'm happy for your friend, working after his back surgery. I did too. People are different, we all heal differently. I've learned that, family are just people who are existing. You share blood. That's it.My family now, we don't share blood. We share love, compassion, trust, honesty and lots of laughs! So, I'll be your cheerleaders from afar. I'll love you from afar. My life is better when I'm around the family I made my own.
Peace, light, and, love to you, and yours. ~~Me!
I want to talk about friendship. I've had many friends. Some I still keep in contact with, and some just fell out of touch with. Others seem to hold something on you since the 8th grade. Or you remember what someone did to you in school.Is it worth it to still ignore that person? 🤔 I saw someone I used to be really good friends with like 30 years ago. She did see me, but turned her head and kept walking, while I'm trying to say hi to her. Wow! I'm thinking, what on earth did I do to you? I had a BF in junior high. For Almost 2 years we were BFs. One day I came to school, and all my stuff from her locker was on the floor in front of my locker. Her combination was changed. I had no idea what I did. But she wouldn't talk to me. I was hurt. Our friend group of 5, had turned on me. I had to find another seat at lunch. It was the last few weeks of school. So I found other friends to be with. So this girl still won't even acknowledge me. Seriously. I'm seeing my daughter go through some stuff. Same stuff I did. And it hurts because all I can do is be there for her. Be her shoulder to cry on. She was having severe panic attacks and ended up having to change her schedule around at school. Her "best friend" turned on her, again. They were BFs since kindergarten. And here we are in high school. And can't believe she did it again. It always happens when a new girl becomes friends with one and then there's 3. And one always gets pushed out. And I honestly hope these 2 feel like shit for what they did. I hurt for her, but then again I'm happy that she's not friends with them anymore.So, my ending ramble here is, why can't everyone just get along? Why do some people just turn over on their friends? Why hold something over someone for 30 some years? Is it worth it to end a friendship over something that you think is wrong or right. Because I can say, from experience, no. Get that friend back.
Peace, light and love.
Lets talk about family. Are you close to yours? They say that when the glue of the family goes, then the family follows. Isn't that a fucking true statement. I have 2 bio sisters, 1 adopted sister, and a half brother. I talk to one sister, and my adopted sister.Our mom got sick, she was diagnosed with, Pancreatic Cancer.
It was horrible watching my mom basically die before my eyes. This is one of the cancers you wouldn't think would hit your home. But it did. Pancreatic Cancer. The survival rate is low.
I moved in with my mom to help her. I took her to her DRs appointments, her chemo, her radiation. Even when she would wake me up in the middle of the night needing to go to the ER. I called 911 many times. I needed help. A few times, my niece came to stay the night at our house so I could go stay the night with my man. There was a nurse that would come out and help her shower.But other than that, it was me. My mom was our glue. My daughter came down with the flu, and had a 102. Temp. So mom couldn't be around her. So she went with her dad. Then it hit me. So my oldest sister came and got her so she could stay there. Now, this is the sister who kept telling mom to sell the house and move in with her. When asked about me, she said, "oh well" mom kept telling her no. So when she finally went there, that was the end. She had had about 16 blood transfusions that week. Her body was slowly shutting down. Mom had her stuff in the washer, when it was done, I took it to her. She asked me if I brought her shoes, because she wanted to go home to die. The home she worked her ass off for, for 30 some years. Her home. Where it was quiet. Every time is go see her, she was worse than the day before. She'd always ask me if I brought her her shoes. Treatments were stopped. And suddenly, she had allllllllll the help, i couldn't have. I was devastated. My mom. The one who taught me everything, but how to live without her. So I had had surgery on May 24 on my left hand, 2nd time around. When I got home, I called the lady that was with her to let her know I was home, and the surgery went fine. I was going to rest a bit and go see her. About 30 minutes later I got the text that she had passed. My other sister came and got me since I couldn't because of my surgery. Losing her was horrible. Especially to something that you can't do anything for. There were songs she wanted to have played that she told me about, but when I mentioned it, it was dismissed. So, I find out my sister's got a tattoo for our mom, without me. And then I heard the rumors about me. And what I heard of what I "did" made me sick. I about threw up. My head was spinning. And then It clicked. That's why my family would walk away when I walked over to them. Or ignore me. Then my half-brother, not from MY mom, messaged me and chewed me out on what I supposedly "did" he was drunk, as usual. I really haven't spoken to that sister in about 3 years, or to my half-brother. I don't care too. I'm so sick of people spewing shit that isn't true. So, if you think for one second that I didn't treat my mom right, YOU ARE NO FRIEND/FAMILY TO ME!! So, family isn't your blood. It's your people that know you. That trust you. That check up on you, people that offer their shoulder, people that say, "screw them" My tribe is a small one. And that's how I like it. I don't need a huge tribe, I don't want a huge tribe. I trust my tribe, I love my tribe. As long as I know what the truth is, then they can fuck off. They weren't there. They didn't help me. I hate the fact I was the last one to know about these rumors, I'm unable to do damage control. All I can say is this, these people spewing shit, they're opinions. And I try to let them go, but it's hard to because the shit said, was horrible. So, I'm going to wrap this up, I am frustrated now, and want to chew them out, again.Real eyes realize, real lies. Mic drop.
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