To my family

I love you, but I dont want anything to do with you.I wish the best for all of you.I'm going to just start ignoring you, like you all do me.I'm tired of the same lies being brought up.I'm tired of being treated like shit all the time.I'm tired of being snickered at. I'm tired of being left out of stuff.When you went around telling lies about that I treated my mom like shit when she was alive, that damaged me.  Were you there? nope. Because you wouldn't help me. I asked.  And you wouldn't help. And give me shit because I wanted to go out one night, Or wanted to go stay a night with my man.  You all took that as if I was running around all the time.  I too needed time away from my home.  When I was there, with my mom, it was a reminder that my mom was dying, and there was nothing I could do.  It's healthy to go and spend time with friends. It was a coping mechanism. Everyone grieves different. My half-brother,  took it upon himself to message me one day telling me how I didn't care for our dad.  This coming from the man who took his wife back, my dad couldn't stand his wife. My dad told him, not to take her back.  So about a month before our dad passed, he got back with his wife, and completely treated our dad like shit, and ignored him, up until the day he passed away. So, in other words, he choose his "wife" over our dad.   He feels the only reason I come around the family is if it's beneficial for me.How?  For what?  Us girls probably won't see anything from our dad, I'm sure. I couldn't care less!  I got a few tangible items, And you know what?  Those items are priceless. Those items will last forever.  My dad is in my heart.  I feel the only reason his wife is "back" is because of the money.  Enjoy it while you can. 🙄 Money will run out. Love won't. I go to see my family, but you ruined it, with the lies you manifested,  so therefore I stay away.  You'd do the same. I love my dad, and stepmother. She will always be my bonus mom, who raised us and gave us girls a lot! And it's appreciated. After my mom passed, I asked my sister multiple times if we were ok. She kept saying yes.  Then about three years later, all these lies surface that she had been spreading since before my mom passed. It actually made me sick to hear this shit.She lied to me.  It hurt.  We were so close.  I racked my brain trying to figure out why. Only thing I could come up with was that she was jealous of my wonderful relationship with my mom.
My 16 year old niece took it upon herself to message me about a grown up issue that she didn't even have NO part in.  Telling me I wasn't part of the family, and again shit about my mom. Who is she to decide who is in the family or not?  Not her! And my Dear niece, do you now feel like a "badass" because you thought you, "told me"? 😉 🤣Told me family don't talk shit about each other.  That's all they do about me.  Ever since my mom passed in 2016, thats all ive heard about me. Family talking shit about me.  She told me i was digging the hole deeper.  Hmmm....i should've just said to her, "POT, KETTLE,  BLACK"  instead i stooped to her unmature level and came back at her.  I used something against her, that I probably shouldn't have said. But I was fuming. I called my sister something I probably shouldn't have said.  But my word!  I feel like saying, "it hurts when family say untrue shit about you, huh?"   And, when she's talking shit about me, no one flinches, but I say something and holy shit!  It's like the sky just dropped.  What. The. Actual.  FUCK? I know an eye for an eye is a sin.  And forgive me dear Lord.I said that grandma would be so disappointed in them.   And she would for treating her baby girl like shit and no part in our family. Who the hell is she defending a 50 yr old man, that if so, can call or text me if he feels.Accusations towards my daughter "talking shit" she was telling the truth. What she said at the shower, about an individual,  was all true.  I actually know the whole story, I said I didn't just out of respect for 2 of my nieces.I'm drained, mentally exhausted. Narcissistic people, blame you for thier actions.So I'm done.  I have 7 nieces, and 3 of them have made it so I'm not getting them anything for christmas.  I'm done.  My wallet thanks you! And that's my money. I did earn it.  😏 Yes, I'm on disability, for my Rheumatoid Arthritis, and my back.  I have 6 screws in my back, and my hardware malfunctioned. So I'm in pain, 24/7.  I'm happy for your friend, working after his back surgery.  I did too. People are different, we all heal differently. I've learned that, family are just people who are existing.  You share blood. That's it.My family now, we don't share blood. We share love, compassion,  trust, honesty and lots of laughs! So, I'll be your cheerleaders from afar. I'll love you from afar. My life is better when I'm around the family I made my own. 
Peace, light, and, love to you, and yours. ~~Me!